from pepe to norah

I took a break and decided to be with Norah.

After arranging the props and costumes, I had to get away from the people. I don't know why. I just felt irritated? Probably due to my monthly period, but hey, I don't think so.

I charge my cellular phone. Play Norah who is thankfully where I left her. I sit and write. Ah... serenity? Well, minus the carpenters sawing, cutting and hammering, as well as the drivers in their vehicles blowing their horns. Then, Dimps arrives. I have nothing against her, but of all people? Not that I was expecting someone to suddenly appear.

Hi. Hello. A little chat (if you consider that a chat). She smokes. I apologize for not being an effective conversation starter, being honest with her that I'm not talkative. She agrees saying she doesn't talk that much either. Good. I went to the office to be alone anyway. She eventually leaves.

Ah, Norah, if only I had an installed player in my system so I can easily turn you on when the need arises.

After a few minutes, ate RL comes. It's okay because she'll be in the office anyway. So, I continue writing.

So, Mai, why so emotional?

It's March now, thankful that my sweetest illusion "renewed" our "contract." Damn! Stupid! Silly! Situations we do for love? No, no. No love involved. No love involved? Well, okay, somehow, love is given but no falling in love right? Right. I'd definitely like to keep that in mind - in heart - for this "relationships's" entirety.

If only I can LIVE in your songs Norah. If only I can vanish into thin air at times and BE something else. That would be nice. That would feel good.

Now I can only hear your voice and only your voice singing as I write. Thinking about what I'm doing here - with performers - with issues (har!har! that's how Karlo put it!), nevertheless, I'm glad, I'm learning things gradually.

There are moments though that I feel stupid because I can't seem to do or comprehend simple stuff like I'm having a learning deficiency? or something; I hope I deliver though! Damn! I hate myself!

Ho, hum. What's next?

Oh, yes. Thinking about my sweetest illusion again...

What is it with him that makes me want to pamper? What's new? I almost always pamper people. I tend to spoil them. In fairness, he does too... during our time together at least.

I hope he's not regretting he renewed another month. It was good to know it was he who initiated though. At least, at one point, there's mutual want or need.

Norah, why do you sing these songs? Help me here. Wish I'd absorb your words and blurt them out as my own.

One thing Norah, I just hope I don't really, eventually fall for him. Complicated. It would be wonderful but if the complications are there, to hell with loving purely.

The cold is creeping up on my arms now and I guess I'd better go and check on Pepe. Hope you accompany me home Norah or better yet, stay... Stay with me my friend. I'll be needing you to keep me company through this unconventional setting I've been living in for a month now.

Get me through another month... pretty please?