shifting universes

feels like it...

photos-from-the-desk

photos-from-the-desk

over a Christmas eve Chinese-style dinner

December 24, Christmas eve, I came from house sitting for Ate RL at Tacay and didn't really get decent sleep due to my paranoia of Beng's arrival (she arrived 7:30 am the next day) or feeling if someone's outside the house wanting to break in.

Anyway, that afternoon, Beng and I decided to go home and rest since Frida can handle everything already (and Leon's such a brat, so...). Beng took a cab and I rode a jeep. I was floating. I even saw my Uncle Paul at UCCP waiting for someone and I was secretly watching him from the jeepney, whenever he'd look my way I'd pretend sleeping on my bag. I wanted to ride until I got home, but the traffic! No choice, I got down at the market and walked to the Brookside jeepney terminal.

Finally home, my parents and siblings were going out! Aha! I took a nap for 30 minutes and took a shower. We went to Cawat (Tip-Top is actually the lower area, than where my relatives are; Beckel is farther and Ambuclao Road is the cemented road going to the Benguet countryside.) to look for lolo Calapio who is good at panghihilot; Mama's wrist was "twisted" and Papa's foot was aching and started to swell, the usual gout but he didn't want to admit it yet. Anyway, when we arrived at the old house, Papa left with Lola Poten and was accompanied my my cousin Daryl and Larc, they had to fetch Lolo Calapio up at Lamut and that was quite a ride away. When they arrived, no Lolo with them, he was house sitting and couldn't leave so tomorrow it is.

We left already and all were hungry. Where to eat? My father is fond of eating at the local Chinese restaurants so where else but Cathy's at the back of Mc Donald's Session. It was closed but the place beside it, Jen's, was open; also Chinese owned.

I had to pee so bad so I asked Maita to accompany me. The CR was in the kitchen and it was so hot there. Such a small place. When I was seated already, that's when my father and mother started talking about the Chinese businesses in Baguio, which got me so interested. He said that Jen's used to be a bakery before, a really small place and right now they have an upstairs and served meals already, although the baking is still ongoing.

I learned that in Baguio, the Chinese old timers who have businesses are distributed as: a) most small-time Chinese restaurants are owned by Macau Chinese. b) The textile and department store businesses like Tiong San are owned by Macau and Cantonese Chinese and c) the hardware business are mostly owned by FooKien Chinese. Although it doesn't apply to all, MOST businesses are owned by them. My father said too that they covered the basic needs of man like food (restaurants), clothing (textile/department stores) and shelter (hardware).
I was interested with these Chinese thing because of my Lolo George, the second husband of my Lola Pros, he was half Chinese (Macau) and I was his favorite apo, well, I was the only child then; also, my Lola Poten's roots are Chinese by the name of Ang-Sy, and my mother feels bad because we (her siblings too) don't know much about them. My mother wants to research more on our ancestors but we don't have the money to fuel such a comprehensive research, but personally, I really think that it doesn't, shouldn't depend on the money.

I find Baguio a really special place, specially in the past. Too bad, look at how it is now. I honestly have discriminations against some of those lowlanders who are here now, well, because they're really some or most of those destroying the city, aside from the city officials who...

Most of my entries now will be leaning toward the past, I'm kind of into this history thing now. Maybe I can start researching for karlo about Session Road again! But I want to learn about a lot of things! I should do it one at a time. That's my problem, I start and stop and start another until I don't finish anything.

childhood pleasures

i hate jeepney drivers who wait for passengers like forever, good thing the jeep i was in didn't take that long and there were kids to keep me from boredom.
two handsome kids. brothers aged maybe five and three (this i know because his mom asked him how old he was and he said two, his mother corrected him, he was three already. they were talking about penises. i couldn't figure out exactly what about, but they were giggling and their mom was trying to cover their mouths because they saying "titi!" "titi!"
i looked at their mom with a smile and she smiled back. they were so cute! long eyelashes, thin lips, nice teeth and sweet innocent smiles. as the jeep went its way - finally - snaking through bonifacio road, they were singing YMCA. "Y-M-C-A- te-ne-ne-ne-ne-nen" over and over.
i got off at the post office and walked past the pre-school near the cathedral, it was dismissal time and kids and parents were all over the place. i went down the steps through the alley between slu school center and the other slu building. i saw a little girl with curly long hair walking, coming from a vendor nearby. she bought some kiddie delight wrapped in plastic and couldn't tear it open with her fingers. cutie then bit off a part of the plastic and managed to open it. i wasn't able to control myself to smirk when (as she bit off that piece of plastic off) her head was kind of thrown away backwards. it was cute and funny at the same time.
cute kids. :)

feeling the same way all over again

Sleeps With Butterflies
Tori Amos
Airplanes Take you away again
Are you flying Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away the night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy
Balloons Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumbleUpon a carousel
It could take us anywhere
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away the night
This girl
This girl
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time I don't mind
I don't hold on To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away the night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

while you pretend sleeping

all these days i spent with you...
you are always floating - like clouds
as i stay anchored like a yacht
moving with the waves
not letting go of the sand or what i can grip
inspite of your heavy rains and gusty wind
i watch sunsets to remind me of your eyes' beauty
for you are not with me - ever

i can't keep you, i can't.
unlike my earrings that adorn my fragile shell-like flesh from where i listen.
unlike petals of virginal flowers in between pages of heavy books up on the shelf.
unlike a concert ticket of my favorite musician, that i kissed and tucked in my diary.

i can't keep you, i can't.
even if like oxygen, you are as important
even if like water that quench thirst and make us move on.
even if like sun whose rays give birth to a violet in africa.

i can't keep you, i can't.
i'd want to, as the rings surrounding my finger.
i'd like to, as clothes that give warmth to my body.
i'd love to, as my only lover, wrapping your arms around my whole being.

i can't keep you, i can't.
for you are not mine.
for no one can own you.
for only you, are entitled to you.

i could not feel that i am here.
that the tips of my fingers touch keys which bring my words to life.

i could not feel that i am here.
that my eyes see wood and metal and green.

i could not feel that i am here.
that i breathe alone the relative silence of a room with corners.

i could not feel that i am here.
that inspite of the burning sensation in me, I ignore pain.

i could not feel that i am here
that i only hear lines which bring salty droplets of rain and well-up in my eyes

i could not feel that i am here
that i could not think nor comprehend other motions in my system

i could not feel that i am here
that my heart doesn't seem like it beats its hooves enough to make me want to live

i could not feel that i am here
that i float like a clear balloon masking itself with the white clouds

i could not feel that i am here
that to feel is not what i'd like to experience right now