everything but the girl

hours after tonyo and telling stories, some wake up from a boring day's nap. some can't sleep due to the noise.

then they had to leave so i'm left here in the other room alone surfing the net and writing messages to you.

missing you so badly. loving you so much.

it rained for awhile. days don't seem the same without you near me.

(And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain)
(And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain)

come back, come back, come back.

i love you.

noisy outside

i miss you.
i miss you.
thank goodness we're okay.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i hope we won't get in to terrible fights with each other again.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i love you so much.

riding in cars with boys

i hate that feeling. it stings. deeply.

i hate that feeling.

sitting inside a borrowed car with norah jones as background music. norah's songs should be used for therapy... depression or something. or maybe just for me. it works for me.

i look outside the window and watch the world pass me by as i think and remember my mantra. after weeks, i say those words again. forcing my self to say so. a line times three. don't fall in love. don't fall in love. don't fall in love. he's not worth it. he's not worth it. he's not worth it. he doesn't deserve you. he doesn't deserve you. he doesn't deserve you.

shit. destructive silence. hurting silence. changeable silence.

i do not know how i will act towards you after this. but, it's because i fell in love and love you. that's why i feel this way.

geez... i fell in love after all.

reggae night foolishness

I love to fantasize about weddings. I want to plan one actually. My friend Jade does too, she's more into it than any other friend I know. She has wedding planner books and bridal magazines in her room. Well, I trust her taste.

Last Tuesday was reggae night for me and Boybi. We went to Ayuyang after rehearsals. Badjao sent me a text message informing me the're having a gig. That's how he invites people, which works because it makes them feel special.

Boybi's friends were there so we sat with them instead of Sir Henry's. I always enjoy my reggae nights when Badjao and Jahblues play. An idea presented itself.

But, first of all, I want a sunset wedding reception with preparations like the Meet Joe Black scene where Joe leaves with Anthony Hopkins. From a hill you can see the open space illuminated with lights and people walk to and fro holding their beer, chatting and stuff.

Not that my boyfriend and I are sure of "us," Boybi wants an early morning wedding and have a breakfast reception. cute.

Okay, here's the compromise:

A sunrise wedding.
A formal breakfast reception.
A beach or garden honeymoon party. By invitation.

By that time I hope we're rich enough to afford transporting people to wherever.

The honeymoon party should be on a full moon. Badjao and Jahblues will reggae all the way. Beer. Lots of food and fun on the sand/ground.

I even have a list of people to invite already! well, not on paper though.

Man, that would be really fun!

I hope I won't end up an old maid! cross my fingers.

Things I'll Never Say

Remember the night we were walking down the road from the office and I was singing the "marry me today" line. Avril's song I can't remember. I found it.

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

'cause I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble Like I’ve got nothing to say

Guess I’m wishing my life away
with these things I’ll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say

(Avril Lavigne)

Yes, I'll never say those words... I hope.

I love you my sweetest.

ang ating timpla abril 7, '05

You and Boybi are flying high today!

The word 'freedom' has been bandied about so much, it seems almost meaningless. Time for the two of you to grab the concept where it counts, redefine it your own way and make it your slogan. This goes way beyond anything red, white and blue -- if you were having t-shirts made up, glittery letters, or glow-in-the-dark ones, would be way more appropriate. The key now is to think expansion rather than contraction, spontaneity rather than planning, weird rather than normal ....

tv ads

"i like it when you watch me sleep and say you love me."

again and again and again and i just smile and breathe in your words. like i never want you to stop saying it with your warm breath on my cheek and your soft kiss on my skin. i love you too.

you have beautiful eyes. a golden kind of brown, with your lashes that make them more dramatic.

like your stare that melts me with the humid air and warms me in the freezing cold.

raise one brow. tease me.smile.

and i smile.

we smile and catch each other's stare. across a room. or in a crowded place. and we smile.

then we can see how we love each other. you know i love you my sweetest.

love... our love. by smiles and stares we love.